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 who | grep -i hot && grep -i female | date; cd ~; unzip; touch; strip; finger; mount; gasp; yes; uptime; umount; sleep

I mount my soul at /dev/null

Unix is user-friendly. It's just picky about who its friends are.

There are two major products of Berkeley, CA -- LSD and UNIX. We don't believe this to be strictly by coincidence.

UNIX was not designed to stop you from doing stupid things, because that would also stop you from doing clever things.

If you have any trouble sounding condescending, find a UNIX user to show you how it's done.

There is no place like ~

Thou shalt not kill -9

$ man woman
No manual entry for woman

In a world without walls or fences who needs windows or gates.

Windows 95/98, (n): 32 bit extension and a  graphical shell for a 16 bit patch to an 8 bit operating system  originally coded for a 4 bit microprossessor, written by a 2 bit company  that can't stand 1 bit of competition.

People say that if you play Microsoft  CD's backwards, you hear satanic things, but that's nothing, because if  you play them forwards, they install Windows.

May the source be with you

Macs are for those who don't want to know why their computer works. Linux is for those who want to know why their computer works. DOS is for those who want to know why their computer doesn't work. Windows is for those who don't want to know why their computer doesn't work. 

% cat "food in cans"
cat: can't open food in cans

$ echo '[q]sa[ln0=aln256%Pln256/snlbx]sb3135071790101768542287578439snlbxq'|dc
GET A LIFE!

Microsoft gives you Windows... Linux gives you the whole house.

Computers are like air conditioners, they stop working properly if you open Windows.

Micro$oft broke Volkswagen's world record: Volkswagen only made 22 million bugs!

sudo chown -R us ./allyourbase